I wrote 562 words in April. That’s not really a pace that’ll get me to The End this year. Then again, that’s not all that surprising. I’ve had to use sick leave to step into the role as teacher for my kids. Even now, I’m looking at the clock, knowing I have to finish this in three minutes, or I’m out of time and I’ll miss the monthly blog hop of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group.
Though I’ve accomplished nothing with regards to my writing goals (making me an insecure non-writer?), I have made a few discoveries about my son. If you’ve read my blog for a while, you would know my son has a history of school troubles that I’ve been trying to figure out. Well, it seems quarantine is what I needed to figure out that he’s a lot like me, only without the 30+ years of experience in controlling how we display emotions. We don’t handle stress or being overwhelmed well. We breakdown and go into disaster mode. I’ve learned how to fake a smile and not let it show. My son hasn’t gotten there yet. When I’m faced with something too hard, my first instinct is to hide. My college teachers could attest to that, often finding me under my desk while in C++ class. Little surprise that my son’s first reaction is to cover his head with his blanket. And we aren’t great with open-ended study or instructions. We like explicit directions or specifications.
Figuring that out has negated many of the problems I’ve had with my son. My husband might say otherwise, because he still catches my wild-eyed look as I fight to keep a calm exterior while chaos crumbles my inner world. But I’ll take getting overwhelmed by a hyper little boy who can’t sit still or stay on topic for a single worksheet if it means I’m not getting screamed at or hit or facing wailing and crying and the occasional “I hate you!”. That was a huge feat for April. Let’s see if May can bring about more changes, so that when he reenters society in June, he isn’t punching peers or acting out on his aggression.
And now that I’ve gone waaayyyyy past my 5 minutes, I’ll wrap up and hopefully score more computer time at lunch so that I can visit all of you.
Can you still call yourself a writer if you don’t actually write? Have you made any interesting discoveries while COVID-19 attacks the world? How are you doing mentally and emotionally?