I traveled out of town this past weekend to attend a memorial for the mother of family friends. I knew Grace, but as the memorial progressed, I didn’t realize how little. She was an amazing woman that impacted many lives for the better. She made a difference in her community, in her family, and in her students. She will be missed.
Afterwards, I had to wonder how people will remember me.
My biggest fear/insecurity is disappointing others. For instance, I joined up with Milo Fowler for #99centnovember. I had grand schemes in my head to make pictures and schedule a bunch of social media posts. But with something changing my work schedule every week, it’s been hard to focus and get it done. I feel like Illidan Stormrage is shouting at me:
YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!
(If you don’t get the reference, it’s from World of Warcraft)
Grace’s husband said she lived with a theme of “do”. And so, I’m going to try to copy her.
My goal is to have my images done and social posts scheduled before the end of the week, while keeping up with my NaNoWriMo word count:
Tackle the little things, keep working, and never give up. I think those are some of what made Grace so amazing. I hope you’re living your life today, because you never know when it’ll be cut short.
Do you ever feel unprepared? What makes you insecure? Do you ever wonder what people will say about you once you’re gone?
About Insecure Writer’s Support Group
You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.
I do wonder about that. I also feel like I don’t do enough for others. But life gets in the way. Being a working mom leaves me little time to do anything but laundry and dishes.
Good luck with NANO.
IWSG #115 until Alex culls the list again
Even if we aren’t totally prepared, we can still attempt to do something. It’s better than nothing.
Rock the NaNo!
I do wonder what people will say when I’m gone. As of now I assume it won’t be very much. :-/
Good luck getting your posts and writing done! I usually find the best way to do these things is to just do it. I know that sounds dumb, but it works.
IWSG November Post
I try my best to share my life experiences in order to help others and to let them know that they are not alone in their insecurities. Wishing you all the best with your new goals but don’t beat yourself up if you are not able to achieve everything. We are only human and sometimes more important things need our attention. Enjoy NaNo. All the best.
I worry more about what people say now while I’m still alive, because when I’m dead, it won’t matter (to me), but I suppose it would matter to my family. I hope they remember the times I was funny more than the times I was mad. Hmmm. I’d better get to work on that, pronto.
As though I didn’t have enough vexing me, now you bring this up! I’ve thought about this thing of legacy and wrote about it on my own blog. Guess it might be best not to worry oneself to death over this and just do stuff and hope what I do means something in the scheme of all things.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
I always feel behind on my to-do list, but having small goals helps. Best of luck with NaNo! 🙂
I’ve thought about it recently, but for a bit of a different reason. The person in question is still alive (as far as I know at this point), but even a living legacy is something to be considered. It is what keeps us connected and close or drives people apart. And with what has been going on, I’ve worried about that with my own family.
Go, go, go on NaNo! XD
…and bonus points for the Illidian reference.
Great reminder, Loni. I’m sure I’m disappointing people left and right, but not on purpose, and I have to live my life, I have to “do” what’s right for me.
Good luck with NaNo!
Do you ever feel unprepared? always, though it may just feel that way
What makes you insecure? everything, again it may just feel that way
Do you ever wonder what people will say about you once you’re gone? sometimes
I’m always unprepared until the moment hits–not saying I don’t prepare, just that the nerves remain until the doing happens. We’re all just fumbling along, eh? But there’s nothing like a death to remind us to make the most of each day.
I have thought about that—what people might say about me when I’m gone. But I try not to dwell on it because then I start to feel down like I’m not doing enough for everyone else around me. But I love your new outlook on life. I may just have to copy it. 🙂
Best of luck with NaNo!!
It seems that those kind of plans always go awry, don’t they? You’d be amazed at how many grandiose ideas I’ve had that have petered out. Good luck with your new goal.
One thing they’d definitely say about me was ‘she was quiet, loved chocolate, loved to read and write.’ But Grace had a great motto, ‘do,’ and I’m going to try living that way and apply it to my daily writing life. Thanks for sharing.
I feel unprepared all the time. I find myself flying by the seat of my pants more often than I would like. I try to be organized, but then life throws in those monkey wrenches, and all those nicely made plans go out the window. All we can do is keep going. I know all too well about life being too short. Live life to the fullest and never give up. Great mottoes to have. Good luck with NaNo!
Good luck with getting caught up and with NaNo! That is a lot to do but squirrels can do the impossible! 😉
P.S. I’m sorry for your loss.
You do more than you realize. Prepared? I’m unfamiliar with that term *snort*. Now go show NaNo who’s boss:)
Unprepared? Does being 9 months ahead in blog posts qualify for that? lol rarely unprepared.
Great post. I feel unprepared for life all the time, but I guess that’s the trick of being alive. We just muddle along the best we can, right? And I don’t even want to contemplate how I will be remembered. It leads down a very sad road.
I’ve been overwhelmed a lot this year. On thing at a time. Sometime we fail and it’s OK. We should be OK with not being perfect. We are perfectly us, which is awesome.
I want to fly like that guy, then it won’t matter what anyone thinks of me. Okay, that’s a lie, but I’ll be dead, so as a new angel, I’ll forgive them.
Some days I’m not prepared and I plow through somehow. I think the trick is not to give yourself an out. It has to be done. Think of it like a diaper. It needs to be dealt with or the shouting and crying will go on forever.
It works for me. 🙂
Anna from Elements of Writing
When I go I hope my brothers say “he was a good brother”, my wife says ” he was a good husband”, my parents say “he was a good son” and my kids say “he was a good Dad”. That’s all I can ask for.
It’s always hard to prepare for something so I love your take on it!
I have been swamped lately myself. Perhaps I should think more like Grace too. Take all the time I worry about getting done and just “do”.
Walking around unprepared seems like a motto that could be written in a memorial service for me. I just keep walking anyway. I like that the motto of the woman’s memorial was “do,” because maybe, like me, she just did and didn’t get all the lists checked off first.
Memorials and celebrations of life are wonderful and hard; and they always seem to leave us wondering about the story that our own life tells. I hope that mine is one of heroic adventure, but then, I know I don’t really get out that much. 🙂
I’m sure that people will say that you are a loving, wonderful, encouraging lady – as we all would right now. 🙂
Yes, I do wonder what people will say after I am gone. I do so much behind the scenes that no one knows. Will I be remembered well?
I feel unprepared way more than I’d like to. You’ll do just fine. Make sure to take time to smell the roses, too.
I think my honest to God insecurity is a culmination of it all: not living. Or, not living enough. I don’t want to waste this life and I’m deathly terrified of doing so. That’s why I’ve been stepping outside of my comfort zone. That’s why I get down on myself when I think I should do more. I don’t want to waste any of this. But as far as what other people think? I just hope I made them laugh.
Hi Loni. It’s frustrating when we fail to do the things we have planned to do/should do/try to do. I feel your pain. I’ve checked into the 99c book page at Milo’s. Wish I was on it, lol!
Thanks for visiting my blog! And for trying to make time to read my book in December! 🙂
Denise Covey November co-host IWSG
It’s good that you took away such a positive and inspirational lesson from a rather sad event. Wishing you enough time to get your art and promos done for 99-cent-Nov! 🙂
Sorry I am late commenting been trying to NaNo with no headway. Great post, very inspiring. Disappointing others is part of my deal too, but my biggest heartbreak is disappointing myself and losing my illusions about how I thought my life was shaped through my choices. I am not who I thought I was deep down, nor did my choices, which I thought were the right ones created what I thought it would when put to hard challenge–My reality is not what I thought it was. Hopefully at the end of this journey or struggle, I will be better than my illusions.
I’ve learned we control nothing even those things we think we have mastered. It can all disappear without you doing a thing yourself–so accepting that I know nothing, that I control nothing not even my reality has been a hard hit.
I just hope I can find myself again and pull myself up. My writing is a big part of that too. It is one of things I refuse to let go of, even when it is painful hanging on. It is one of the things I have been struggling with the last year and half. I guest as long as I keep trying to work though it and overcome it there is hope for success and new growth.
It is funny how when a lifetime of belief is challenged, and how it can change your world. The key is “not letting it change who you want to be” and trying to control what you can with the choices and option you are given, which is your own reactions mostly–perceptions, and the choices you make after that.
It is long road, a lifetime, yet just a blink of an eye. Time is the demolition ball that rearranges it all over and over and over in so many different ways and areas of a persons life—stability through time is a blessing and a gift. Some have it early in life, some have it later in life and for some it is sporadic and some never know it.
I often think how will I be remembered and know this too has changed with change in my reality that has changed my perceptions. Yet what I want has not changed. I want to inspire, encourage, entertain and “hand out hope like it is candy in my pocket” to quote a fave Kevin Costner move The Postman. Friendship has been an important theme of my life, along with personal growth, freedom and ease. These last two in short supply lately.
Wow, your post made me think and trigger a response, lol, sorry so long and drawn out, but I am leaving it out there.
Great post.
http://www.junetakey.com/
I feel unprepared lots!! Seems to be part of juggling a home, family, and jobs, unfortunately. =/ And w/having started a new job w/a steep leaning curve just a few months ago, me and unprepared feel like best friends these days, lol! *sigh…*
I’m a thinker and a planner, so I really try not to be unprepared and do things in a timely manner. Sometimes it works. Most often not quite. Good luck with everything!
I just wondered about what people would say about me a couple of days ago – not sure why, something I watched or read must have triggered it. 🙂
Good luck on NaNoWriMo! Looks like you’re doing awesome so far!
Every little once in awhile the thought flits through my head, but it doesn’t prey on me. (What people will think of me). I do my best, and that’s really all any of us can do, though we should all also aspire to something better. Good luck with both challenges you’re trying to meet!
I hope I leave a legacy of helping people, but sometimes it feels like life keeps getting in the way of what really matters. All the best to you during NaNo!
I wondered if that was meant to be a WoW reference as soon as I saw the title. 😛
I’m the type of person to try to plan ahead and prepare for everything. I keep things in my bag that I think I might need, just in case, and I think of contingency plans for things that might change along the way. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But I have learned not to worry about it, since there’s no way to prepare for everything.
As for what people will say about me when I’m gone, I try not to worry about that too, as I won’t be around to hear it. *shrug*
I know that feeling! I feel unprepared a lot and that’s why I try to plan far in advance. I hope my books will be here long after I’m gone. Let my stories live on.
I thought I was prepared, but life is throwing my best laid plans into disarray. I feel like this about Realms Faire, but at least I managed to sort out the images in time. 🙂
I’m all teary. Wow, do I wonder how others will remember me. What will they choose as their memories of me? I have no clue. None. And, no, you really don’t know how long you have. I have an awful habit of not living in the moment. I’m trying. I wish there was a magic wand for that. “she lived with a theme of “do”” I love it. And I’m going to copy you copying her. Thanks for sharing this. I needed it.
Also, kickin’ word count you’ve got there, lady! Nice.
I push myself to do things. I know I’m a do-er. I don’t want to live in the sidelines or have people do things for me. I like to think people will say good things about me when it’s my time to go. Even with flaws, people remember what’s good and the impact made on others.
I feel like I disappoint people a lot. I try to get involved in too much and then I’m in over my head. Grace’s life sounds inspiring, it is important to just start with the small stuff and keep at it!
Be prepared is a Boy Scout motto. I’m no boy scout, so I don’t live by that…I don’t want to be so uptight about being so prepared. Otherwise if the plan doesn’t work out, then I’m deflated and depressed. So I have to allow some wiggle room because I know things don’t always work out the way you’d planned or prepped. I guess I’m prepared not to be prepared. And I think that’s a good thing. Enjoyed your post!
Unprepared? Only most of the time. And I blame a lot of that on how much time I spent lost inside a story–others or my own. I look up and–Good Grief!–I’m not prepared for what comes next. 🙂