Controlling My Environment #IWSG

April was a stressful month with my husband hurting his foot and then back, my daughter getting sick, my son throwing violent tantrums, and my dogs nearly tearing each other apart. I got bit during that last incident and now my best friend owns a 10 year old shiba. The dogs love people, but the two boys started fighting more and more this past year and I’ve come to find out, shiba inus fit best in households where the other canines are the opposite sex. At least it was a positive outcome for a not-so-great situation.

My son’s tantrums, however, aren’t as simple to deal with. To try to tackle this, I’ve invested in Positive Parenting Solutions and made changes to the home environment. I can’t control my son or how he reacts, so I’m controlling what I can: my work schedule, my routine, and how I divvy up family contributions.

With all the stresses of April, my writing life has been shoved to the back burner. I’ve managed to do a few changes to Isto, but I’m nowhere near done. I deviated into art for the sake of my sanity. Drawing doesn’t require a lot of concentration from me, so I can do it while hanging out with family. I even played around with Facebook’s 3D photo technology. If you’re on a computer, you might be able to see the effects in this picture by moving the mouse around.

Since it’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group day, you might wonder “is your lack of progress the cause of your insecurity?” Well, I don’t have a lot of insecurity at the moment. What I have is exhaustion and acceptance that my writing just isn’t as important as my kids. Mother comes before the Writer in my tagline for a reason. So I suppose that’s a reason to celebrate, despite my lack of progress.

Ever hear of/try out Positive Parenting Solutions? Does family life have a way of overtaking your writing life like it has mine? Have you ever used Facebook’s 3D photo technology?

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You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

Loni Townsend

About Loni Townsend

Wife. Mother. Writer. Ninja. Squirrel.

34 thoughts on “Controlling My Environment #IWSG

  1. Not heard of ‘positive parenting solutions’, although have likely heard of something similar. Yeah – we find with our aspie son that if we don’t manage things early we often just have to deal with the fallout afterwards. Trouble is, life’s not that simple and it’s all too easy to spot the problem symptoms after the event. We are learning all the time…

  2. Oh gosh…you’re having about as much fun as I am.

    And I’m with you there on writing. I managed to get maybe close to the first half of a rough draft of the next book done this month and about half of that had been previously written so I was just going over what I had and lining it up with my new direction.

    I absolutely love your artwork and that 3D effect is beautiful.

    I haven’t tried that solution with my daughter. Right now she’s learning a hard lesson for something she pulled on Friday.

  3. I’m sorry you’re going through such problems. I hope you and hubby heal soon and that son’s behavior improves. It’s amazing how one child acting out can disrupt an entire household.

  4. Oh man. I’m so sorry. That was a stressful month.

    Have you taken a look at your son’s diet? It’s amazing how much junk we eat, and that impacts hormone levels which impact mood. It won’t solve the problem, but it might be a component that helps.

    • I’m hoping he doesn’t eat too much junk. I do let him have a granola bar before we head out to daycare, but I try to prepare healthy dinners for the family. I’ll take a closer look at the daycare menus too.

  5. Christine Rains

    Definitely Mother comes before Writer… as much as that can frustrate my muse. I hope things grow better in May for you. I’ve not heard of positive parenting solutions. I hope it works for you, and I’m curious to hear about it if you would share anything here on your blog. I recently attended a conference with my son’s teacher about the emotional well-being of high ability children. I learned a lot, and the stuff they talked about would apply to most children, not only high ability kids.

  6. Wow, you’ve got a lot going on. Sounds like quite a tough month. 🙁 Understandable that writing took a back burner.

    The Facebook 3D image is really cool!

  7. Sending positive vibes for healing and progress for you and your family, Loni. Hang in there!

  8. That 3-D image is very cool.

    Never tried the Positive Parenting thing. My youngest daughter used to throw tantrums when she was around 3 or 4, but she stopped after she started going to school.

    Family life does have an effect on my writing time, but mostly it’s the other distractions that keep me from writing.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

  9. That’s cool how it moves.
    Sorry you had to give up your dog but sounds like he’ll be happier there.

  10. Family life used to take priority over writing for me, but now the kids have grown to the point that they basically ignore mom and dad and do what interests them. This has definitely freed up more time for writing, even if it is a bit sad to see them grow up. Maybe I can pay them to be beta readers. 🙂

  11. I’m sorry life has been so stressful! Hopefully this month will go more smoothly.
    That drawing is so cool!

  12. You are really talented. That 3D image is so cool.
    Hopefully, things will get better as the month progresses. Hang tight.

  13. Jennifer Lee Hawes

    Your artwork is amazing!! Parenting comes in so many different styles and we go through tons of various stages. I’m thankful my boys are “more” grown now. They were a handful when they were younger. I actually enjoy hanging out with them now! My writing has taken a back burner since I started a new job (school librarian) this fall. It’s hard not to write like I once did.

  14. That 3D image is really cool.

    Yes, Mother certainly should come before Writer. I’m sorry things have been so hectic for you. My sister went through something similar with my niece when she was younger. It’s being managed with diet, positive parenting techniques, and other outlets.

    Sending healing, positive vibes your way. Hang in there!

  15. Anna

    I know you’re doing the right thing. Kids can’t wait, books can. 🙂

    Anna from elements of emaginette

  16. That’s neat.

    I resort to either Pinterest or an adult coloring book when I really need something mindless to do. Or research. There’s always research to do.

  17. That was not a good month for you or your family, Loni. Hope this one turns out much better.

  18. Sorry you had a bad month. But mother does come before writing, and you’ll be glad when your kids are grown and on their own that you put them and your husband first. I did, and my writing has suffered. But I’m not sorry.

  19. I’m a mom writer too, my girls two and seven, and it is a challenge. Of course they come first but I catch myself longing for a few moments to myself to write. It’s how I center. When I lose my 2yo’s naptimes I’m going to struggle. Stay strong, Mama!

  20. Hugs. Huge, been there, done that, survived it already hugs. My oldest child would throw the worst tantrums. A lot of people probably thought he’d grow up to be an axe murderer. But he didn’t. He’ll be graduating law school at the end of the month. He still has a very intense personality, but he’s learned to redirect that energy. I was told to completely ignore the tantrums. To make them non-consequential. But I couldn’t manage that. Instead, I would give him hugs until he clamed down and I convinced him that I couldn’t hear him when he yelled. To this day, my kids think I have high frequency hearing damage and that I can only hear voices at indoor levels.

  21. I am soooo glad I am past the stage of needing “positive parenting solutions”! But you have such a great attitude, so rest assured, this too shall pass. I love that you use your art to decompress. And yes, at this stage in life, mother does come before writer. There is a time and season for every thing.

  22. Sounds like such a stressful month! I’m a mom-writer-editor, and April wasn’t good for me, either—everyone got sick and work just takes to the back burner, then, if it doesn’t move completely “off the stove” as it were.

    Praying things get better and that you’re able to find a solution that works to help you and your son and your family, in general.

  23. Okay, that 3D mouse thing was awesome. Like, AWESOME. Congrats on making it out of April with that 🙂

    Yes, you are a mother and yes, that totally comes first. Not sure what I can suggest on the tantrums…more wine for you? Hope your hubby is feeling better!

  24. Joleene Naylor

    No kids, and i had never seen the 3D photos before – very very cool! – but I do have a lot of family the interfere with my writing and art time, LOL!

  25. I think making art is a great alternative to writing so that you still have a creative outlet. Loved the 3D pic!

  26. I hope things get better with all the changes you made. Yeah, family should come first. You took some positive steps.

    I love, love your 3D art. That is awesome. You should do book covers, and yes I think your art is that good.

    Wishing the best always. Hang in there.

  27. Sorry about all the troubles you’ve been having. Of course, Mother comes first, before anything else.
    Love the 3D effect on the picture, very cool.

  28. I agree that ‘mother’ comes before ‘writer’ even though I haven’t even been a parent. Only a ‘step’. But I see how my step-kids and step-grand-kids cope and struggle. And my writing has always taken a back-row role in my working life and now with my health issues despite being retired.

    So, I admire your common sense, determination, and artwork.

    (Have a great day – it’s a beautiful one in our part of Boise.)

  29. I’ve not tried positive parenting since I have no kids, but in the classroom positive behavior intervention strategies is a thing. I suppose the two approaches probably have a thing or two in common.

  30. I always love you reflections. Yes, mom role comes first and my editing hasn’t panned out as fast as I’ve wanted it to either. Sigh. I love how you tackle your challenges. For me, I followed the baby whisperers advice. I really liked her books. I also love the 7 habits. My daughter always challenges me too but I try. 🙂

  31. That Facebook photo technology is really cool. I love what you’ve done with it!

    Sorry to hear about your troubles last month. It must have been so sad to re-home your dog, and I’m sure the temper tantrums have been maddening. I haven’t heard of PPS, but I really hope it helps!

    Here’s to a better May.

  32. Wow, so much going on. Hugs. Sometimes its all so hard. But that is life.

  33. Sorry to hear you’ve been having problems. I hope things settle down for everyone. Really nice art sample there. You are so talented!

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