The summer flew by, and I feel I accomplished a decent amount these past couple of months. I’ve taken the kids to the swimming pool, arcade, zoo, fun-zone amusement center, and we’ll be hitting the fair later this month. I’ve also made good progress on book 2, finally working out the details for my last few chapters. I still need to write them, but now I kind of know where I’m going with them. Woot!
Speaking of book 2…
IWSG Question of the Month – Have you ever written something that afterwards you felt conflicted about? If so, did you let it stay how it was, take it out, or rewrite it?
I know the question probably means feeling conflicted the moment you’ve written it, but for me, the conflict came years later, and I ruminate over it a lot as I write book 2.
The first conflict was easily solved. I used a derogatory term to name a group of my travelling people. I’ve since fixed this and renamed my group to Wayfarers.
The next two aren’t easily solved, and I’m just going to live with the fact that I’ve committed these writerly crimes and feel crappy for choosing to let them stay as is.
In book 1, I killed a gay character. This is a trope that I didn’t know existed until after I’d published. To make matters worse, the gay character’s role is to support the straight characters. As of book 2, he’s completely entwined in Derek’s story to the point that I can’t go back and unkill him. And his partner is an important secondary to another straight guy’s story, so I can’t go back and make him straight either. Now, one could argue, “Loni, you killed a dozen people in that book, and most even stayed dead!” But no matter what you say, I’ll still feel bad about it, and the fact that I’m not changing it.
The second crime wasn’t actually in book 1, but rather the Cera Chronicles. I’ve got a cannibalistic pygmy witchdoctor who wears a loin cloth, has filed teeth, speaks in a clicking language, and uses broken English. Yeah… Offensive stereotyping. I’m ashamed I had to have this pointed out to me. *hangs head* With some work, I could remove him from the Cera Chronicles, as someone once told me he’s the least necessary character, and I would agree. But he’s also in book 2 because of his connection to Derek, and unless I change the plot again, he’s going to stay. Right now, with how much work I’ve done just to get this version hammered out, I don’t think I want to redo it unless beta readers tells me it’s complete crap.
And on the topic of redoing… Tell me your thoughts on the latest version of my blurb.
She’s the ruler of the broken. He’s the breaker of the rules.
Derek stole the power of the deities to return MaTisha to life. Now, they want it back and they’ll render her a corpse to get it.
He scrambles for a solution to save his wife, but a fight with an immortal predator knocks him into the unknown. Stranded in a land of gods and magic, he must find a way home before he loses everyone he loves.
Meanwhile, MaTisha faces trouble of her own. Monsters are literally sucking the life out of her subjects, and her powers died with her in the war. But impotence isn’t resurrection’s only side effect. An insatiable thirst plagues her, and her closest companions are looking…tasty.
She’s determined to protect her people, but who will save them from her?
Any critiques on the blurb? How has your summer been? Have you committed any writerly sins?
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A cannibalistic pygmy witchdoctor – that’s original.
I like the blurb!
I like the blurb too. Your cover is cool too.
The blurb is great. Keep it.
Excellent blurb! About the other issue, I can relate. Forgive yourself and move on. That sounds easier said than done, but it’s always better to be kind to yourself and sympathetic to your motives. I think one of the hardest things about living in this era is to remember all the politically correct stuff. It was much easier 100 years ago, that’s for sure.
Love the first line in the blurb. Just love it!
Anna from elements of emaginette
Great job on this one, Loni. As to all those regrets, they taught you a lot. Most importantly, you listened.
You’re not alone in unintentionally writing some bad tropes. I’ve done my fair share as well, and cringed when it got noted after the fact. But like you, they were bits I couldn’t go and change because it mattered to the plot.
Once you know better, do better. When you wrote those things, you didn’t know better. Now you do. As long as you don’t make those mistakes again, you’re good.
Woot woot on the summer fun with the kiddos!
I’ve beta read most of those stories and quite honestly, I think you treat all of your characters with care and consideration. As for the pygmy witch doctor, I see your point and suggest instead of removing him, could you change him to a mythical creature? Like a half man, half wart hog…maybe he sacrificed his humanity for magical powers?
I’ve removed the word pygmy from book 2 all together in my efforts to address my errors. Fues and his people are Abudo, he’s a Death Speaker, and he’ll wear leather shorts with magic pockets instead of a loin cloth. I’m also taking out the implications that he eats humans. He eats other beings–demigods and the Woodfolk–but I’m hoping it comes across less terrible.
Our world has gotten overly sensitive about every little word. Some sayings are not appropriate, but it has gotten ridiculous. Our local high school was called the Warriors, they had to change their name. Now it’s the Wart Hogs. LOL.
I really like your blurb!
Sometimes, the choices we made a decade ago feel regrettable now, but they were right for us at the time. Don’t feel ashamed of your old choices, even if you would’ve made different ones today. It just shows us all that you’ve grown as a person and as a writer.
You grow. You accept you are different, more evolved as a writer and a person, hoping your readers will accept you, too. As the others have said: great blurb.
https://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/2023/08/why-writing-in-crosshairs-iwsg-post.html
People need to lighten up and let characters be characters and stories have some wiggle room –assume positive intent. I liked the witchdoctor.
The blurb is great! Really draws you in.
As for regretting some of your past choices or characters, no one knows that better than me. (Well probably somebody, but you know what I mean) If the element is critical to your plot or story, then don’t ignore it, try to find a way to build from it and subvert. Sure a gay character died, but maybe there’s some backstory there that we didn’t know about. Ret-con it to make him the most the important person in the universe and make his sacrifice the most heroic thing ever (again, that might be a bit over-dramatic, but you get where I’m coming from). Same goes for your stereotypical pygmy. Maybe there’s more to his story we’ve yet to find out. Maybe he’s the black sheep of his people, and his relatives are super embarrassed of him. Maybe there’s a curse on him to make him monstrous, or maybe the other characters were misinterpreting him for some reason.
I love retconning stuff. I’m a big fan of professional wrestling . It’s a living and constantly-changing form of storytelling, where you have to be able to see when something isn’t working, acknowledge you can’t change what you already did, and pivot to something new. If you can somehow explain previous actions that seemed out of character, it makes the story SO MUCH better.
I like the idea, though I don’t know that I can quite do justice for my gay character (Warren), since Derek is who this series revolves around. But Warren becomes part of Derek after the events of the first book, and continues on in the rest of the series as a voice in Derek’s head, manifesting in the third and later books as a full-sensory illusion who can talk and touch. He’s Derek’s primary support through the toughest times in their life, and he deals with the things Derek can’t emotionally and mentally handle. I don’t know. Maybe that does make him the most important character, because if it wasn’t for Warren, Derek would’ve never made it to book 5. I just need to figure out how to show how important Warren is.
Isn’t it crazy how many offensive or overdone tropes are out there? These kind of regrets are one reason why I’m determined never to write another series. It will be standalones for me from now on. I HATE when something is too integral to the plot of future books to be removed.
I guess that’s the danger with writing series… If something problematic sneaks into one book, you might be stuck with it for the whole series. But I firmly believe that if what you write is true to the characters you’ve created, even problematic things can work because they’re part of who those people are and not everyone in the world thinks and acts the same way. There are problematic people in the world and refusing to acknowledge that isn’t helpful.
When you’re writing something, it’s hard to think about political correctness. You think it’s cool or it’s funny. That’s why you write it. It comes as a shock when someone tells you it’s offensive. It’s happened to me. So now I try to have people from the culture I’m writing about read my stuff beforehand to help me catch anything that’s offensive.
Life, as well as writing, involves making lots of mistakes, learning from them, then going off and making whole new and improved mistakes afterward. Be kind to yourself.
And… (entering the echo chamber): I liked the blurb.