Have you met C.D. Gallant-King? This guy cracks me up. He’s got the edge on zany, and his stories reflect that fun-loving nature. If you enjoy action, fun, with a hint of heart-warming love, I suggest you pick up Ten Thousand Days. And now…
Ten Thousand Days
Can you tell us a little about yourself? When did you first start writing?
Writing? I dunno. When they made me start doing spelling tests in school, I suppose. Always hated the word “cake,” never could get that one right. Never much was one for books. Everything I know I learned the way you’re supposed to learn – on the streets, in the school of hard knocks. The headmaster was a fine fellow named Bertram. He had an office on the stoop of 24 King Street.
Um, okay. Then why did you write a book?
Write a book? I didn’t write a book. The last think I wrote was a grocery list, and that only had two items on it: Sriracha sauce and cake, which I spelled wrong.
Oh yeah, Sriracha sauce goes great on cake. Trust me.
No, didn’t you write Ten Thousand Days?
What? No, you’re confusing me with that other guy. Happens all the time.
You’re not C.D. Gallant-King?
Nah, I’m Frank. Nice to meet you.
Oh, I get it, you’re Frank Ogilvie, you’re a character in the book. I thought I smelled something terrible.
Now listen here, Missy, that’s not very polite.
You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned the smell.
Oh, no, that’s fine, I smell like a wet dog that rolled in a bloated whale carcass that’s been rotting on the beach for two weeks. It just follows me around, I can’t seem to shake it. It’s like herpes. No, what I mean is I don’t appreciate being called a character. I prefer “literary personification of the author’s imagination.”
Fair enough. What are you doing here?
I’m a reclaimer of unused and unwanted refuse.
So… like a garbageman?
I wish. They make good money. I’m more of a freelancer.
And you’re in my computer why?
There’s a whole lot of copper wire just lying around in here…
You can’t take my wires, I need those!
For how long? Like, if I come back after lunch and I unplug a few things, would anyone notice?
Fine then, waste my time.
Since you’re here anyway, can I ask you a few question about the book?
Shoot. But not really. I don’t condone violence.
Of course. So you’re a charac- sorry, Literary Personification in Ten Thousand Days. What role do you play in the book?
Well, without getting into too many… whaddya call’em, “spoilers,” I help the Primary Protagonal Literary Personification of the Author’s Imagination – his name’s Isaac, fine fellow – in his quest to find his lost love. I give him a magical artifact to help him on his way.
Exciting? What is it? A sword? An amulet? A magic ring?
Yup. A Robertson-head.
I thought this was a story about magic and fantasy worlds and quests for lost loves and fighting Fate and all that?
Oh all, that and more. It’s quite exciting stuff. Touching, funny, charming, a little BOO! spooky in places, too.
And you give him a screwdriver.
It’s a very useful tool, you know.
Ah, I see… Do you have anything interesting you can tell me about the story before we wrap up?
Well, I only know it from my point of you, right? I see this Isaac guy, and he’s a good guy but a bit useless you know? But I can tell he’s destined for something important. He’s a normal guy who gets thrust into very abnormal situations. He goes on a hopeless quest to find his lost love and faces all sorts of nasties along the way. It’s dark and twisted but funny, too, right? Even in the face of the yawning abyss of damnation, you just gotta laugh. I mean, what else are you going to do?
I understand he meets a few oddball characte- literary personifications such as yourself, along his way.
A couple, yeah. But I don’t think I’m that odd. A little ex- what’s the word?
Excrementy. I smell like excrement.
Interview written by C.D. Gallant-King
They say love hurts and time heals all wounds.
Sometimes the reverse is true.
Isaac was very good at wasting time. Video games, a mindless job, no responsibilities – he had a simple life and few wants. Despite being hopelessly average, unassuming and kind of useless, he had somehow married the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world.
He had no idea how good he had it – until it was all taken away.
Time does not like being wasted. It is mercurial, inexorable and carries a wicked grudge. And sometimes, just sometimes, it enjoys playing games with people’s lives. To be perfectly honest, Time is a bit of a jerk.
Isaac had never learned to appreciate what little time he had, and now he must travel to the ends of the universe and face unspeakable evils in a cat-and-mouse game with Time itself for the slim chance to win back a few fleeting seconds of happiness. The price of failure? Only the end of all existence.
Ten Thousand Days is a fairy tale set in the modern day, a fantastic journey of desperate love and horror with a twisted sense of humour. It’s a story of exactly how far a young man will go for love…
Writer, gamer, pro-wrestling aficionado. Dad.
I claim to write stories, but really I just find them in The Closet, dust them off, add a few commas and send them out into the world.
Proudly Canadian, born and raised in Newfoundland, fine-tuned and educated in Toronto and currently residing in Ottawa with a beautiful wife, two wonderful children and various furry four-legged companions.
Have you tried out C.D.’s book? What would you do with a magic screwdriver? What lengths would you go through for love?
38 thoughts on “An Interview with… Who? #TenThousandDays”
I’m still laughing about the copper wire. 😛
It’s a good thing he didn’t know about the gold, platinum and palladium in the circuit boards…
LOL. That was too funny! I hope I haven’t offended my characters by calling them characters…
I’m sure you’re fine. My charact- Literary Personifications are particularly egotistical. Sadly, I think they get it from me.
Fun interview. Never tried hot sauce on cake. Hmm.. I do like zany. Congrats CD!
The writers of this post (I assume you’re with me on this Loni) do not condone the application of hot sauce to baked goods. I mean, you’re willing to try, maybe you’ll get a kick out of it, but more likely it will just taste like vomit and I don’t want anyone going around telling people it was my idea. I take no responsibility for Frank’s actions, tastes or opinions. Or smell.
I agree. Baked goods should be coated in soy sauce, not hot sauce. Sheesh!
What an oddly fun interview! My husband puts hot sauce on everything! When we were first married, I freaked out when he put it on his waffles.
And you stayed with him? You are a brave and wonderful woman who deserves our sympathy. He should count himself lucky and shower you with gifts at every opportunity. Hopefully he refrains from putting hot sauce on your jewelry.
Ok, I loved this interview. I always say that, but I don’t always mean it (shh, don’t tell; I like to be encouraging.) This one held my interest and made me laugh and definitely made me want to pick up the book. So, major success all around 🙂
Oh, we all say things we don’t mean in blog comments sometimes. For awhile I pretended to be a 90-year-old Frenchman. Is that a crime?
Glad to hear I piqued your interest. 🙂
Best interview I’ve read in a while.
You must be reading some really boring and lousy interviews. 😛
Funny way to start the interview! And of course a screwdriver. It works for Dr. Who.
I will swear to my grave that I hadn’t seen Doctor Who and had no knowledge of the sonic screwdriver when I wrote the story.
That being said, Frank’s screwdriver is quite a bit less… Elegant than Doctor Who’s. And gets way more blood on it.
That was thoroughly entertaining! Thanks, CD and Loni!
I think I’m going to give up writing proper reviews and blurbs moving forward.
Nice to meet you, Frank. Tell C.D. I almost feel as if I’ve met him, too. Your story sounds exciting!
Waving to Loni 🙂
Frank says it’s not his story. He wouldn’t want to go through the hell that I put the protagonist, Isaac, through. He’s quite happy in his supporting role this time.
That was absolutely hilarious! It’s lovely to meet you, Frank. And according to the Doctor, a screwdriver is a very useful thing. Much better than the typical wooden sword they give heroes starting out on their quests.
I dunno. There were parts that the hero probably would have appreciated a sword. Even a wooden one. Frank really needs to work on his helpful mentor persona.
Hmm. Well. That was… What an endearing Literary Personification. So, interestingly enough, I’m off to check this out on Amazon. Kindle me happy. Thanks for the intro, Loni. And, um, thanks for the interview…CD? Frank?
Frank says you’re welcome.
CD says if you’d like a review copy, let me know. 😉
That was a great interview! Such a fun way to introduce a book and it’s personifications 🙂
Glad to hear it. Honestly I had no idea how it would go over, and was kinda expecting a flop. I’m very happy to have gotten all the positive feedback.
haha! I loved this interview. The book sounds great!
What a creative interview. The screwdriver made me think of the Doctor, too. Bet Isaac learns to become very resourceful.
He learns to accept help from unexpected places. And gets very good at hurting himself.
Is a screwdriver enough? Maybe he should have a hammer or something else. After all, he is saving the universe.
He doesn’t actually set out to save the universe, just his wife. The only reason the universe ends up in peril is because he puts it there.
Fun interview! Certainly a great way to grab our attention. Congratulations on the book!
I want to grab your attention and shake it like a Polaroid picture. (Which incidentally, the Polaroid company does not encourage as it doesn’t actually help the photo development in any way.)
That was kind of insane. In a good way. ^_^ I love in-character interviews, and I’ll have to keep an eye out for the book.
Only kind of? I will try harder for the next time!
Fun interview! And my computer is about to do one of those restart thingies, so I’m typing fast. I bookmarked the Amazon page to look at later.
Are you sure it’s a regular restart? Or is Frank helping himself to some of your copper wires?