Have you met C.D. Gallant-King? This guy cracks me up. He’s got the edge on zany, and his stories reflect that fun-loving nature. If you enjoy action, fun, with a hint of heart-warming love, I suggest you pick up Ten Thousand Days. And now…
Ten Thousand Days
Can you tell us a little about yourself? When did you first start writing?
Writing? I dunno. When they made me start doing spelling tests in school, I suppose. Always hated the word “cake,” never could get that one right. Never much was one for books. Everything I know I learned the way you’re supposed to learn – on the streets, in the school of hard knocks. The headmaster was a fine fellow named Bertram. He had an office on the stoop of 24 King Street.
Um, okay. Then why did you write a book?
Write a book? I didn’t write a book. The last think I wrote was a grocery list, and that only had two items on it: Sriracha sauce and cake, which I spelled wrong.
Oh yeah, Sriracha sauce goes great on cake. Trust me.
No, didn’t you write Ten Thousand Days?
What? No, you’re confusing me with that other guy. Happens all the time.
You’re not C.D. Gallant-King?
Nah, I’m Frank. Nice to meet you.
Oh, I get it, you’re Frank Ogilvie, you’re a character in the book. I thought I smelled something terrible.
Now listen here, Missy, that’s not very polite.
You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned the smell.
Oh, no, that’s fine, I smell like a wet dog that rolled in a bloated whale carcass that’s been rotting on the beach for two weeks. It just follows me around, I can’t seem to shake it. It’s like herpes. No, what I mean is I don’t appreciate being called a character. I prefer “literary personification of the author’s imagination.”
Fair enough. What are you doing here?
I’m a reclaimer of unused and unwanted refuse.
So… like a garbageman?
I wish. They make good money. I’m more of a freelancer.
And you’re in my computer why?
There’s a whole lot of copper wire just lying around in here…
You can’t take my wires, I need those!
For how long? Like, if I come back after lunch and I unplug a few things, would anyone notice?
Fine then, waste my time.
Since you’re here anyway, can I ask you a few question about the book?
Shoot. But not really. I don’t condone violence.
Of course. So you’re a charac- sorry, Literary Personification in Ten Thousand Days. What role do you play in the book?
Well, without getting into too many… whaddya call’em, “spoilers,” I help the Primary Protagonal Literary Personification of the Author’s Imagination – his name’s Isaac, fine fellow – in his quest to find his lost love. I give him a magical artifact to help him on his way.
Exciting? What is it? A sword? An amulet? A magic ring?
Yup. A Robertson-head.
I thought this was a story about magic and fantasy worlds and quests for lost loves and fighting Fate and all that?
Oh all, that and more. It’s quite exciting stuff. Touching, funny, charming, a little BOO! spooky in places, too.
And you give him a screwdriver.
It’s a very useful tool, you know.
Ah, I see… Do you have anything interesting you can tell me about the story before we wrap up?
Well, I only know it from my point of you, right? I see this Isaac guy, and he’s a good guy but a bit useless you know? But I can tell he’s destined for something important. He’s a normal guy who gets thrust into very abnormal situations. He goes on a hopeless quest to find his lost love and faces all sorts of nasties along the way. It’s dark and twisted but funny, too, right? Even in the face of the yawning abyss of damnation, you just gotta laugh. I mean, what else are you going to do?
I understand he meets a few oddball characte- literary personifications such as yourself, along his way.
A couple, yeah. But I don’t think I’m that odd. A little ex- what’s the word?
Excrementy. I smell like excrement.
Interview written by C.D. Gallant-King
They say love hurts and time heals all wounds.
Sometimes the reverse is true.
Isaac was very good at wasting time. Video games, a mindless job, no responsibilities – he had a simple life and few wants. Despite being hopelessly average, unassuming and kind of useless, he had somehow married the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world.
He had no idea how good he had it – until it was all taken away.
Time does not like being wasted. It is mercurial, inexorable and carries a wicked grudge. And sometimes, just sometimes, it enjoys playing games with people’s lives. To be perfectly honest, Time is a bit of a jerk.
Isaac had never learned to appreciate what little time he had, and now he must travel to the ends of the universe and face unspeakable evils in a cat-and-mouse game with Time itself for the slim chance to win back a few fleeting seconds of happiness. The price of failure? Only the end of all existence.
Ten Thousand Days is a fairy tale set in the modern day, a fantastic journey of desperate love and horror with a twisted sense of humour. It’s a story of exactly how far a young man will go for love…
Writer, gamer, pro-wrestling aficionado. Dad.
I claim to write stories, but really I just find them in The Closet, dust them off, add a few commas and send them out into the world.
Proudly Canadian, born and raised in Newfoundland, fine-tuned and educated in Toronto and currently residing in Ottawa with a beautiful wife, two wonderful children and various furry four-legged companions.
Have you tried out C.D.’s book? What would you do with a magic screwdriver? What lengths would you go through for love?